Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tulips Are My Favorite Flower

...and Zach is my favorite man.

(Behold Zach. I tell him he looks like a muppet. This picture proves that I'm right.)

Zach and I have been friends for almost two years now. It was a cordial friendship while I cycled through dating several different men. Those guys were great, and I never planned on dating Zach ever. Then something happened to Zach where he got his heart broken in a really big way in December. We were studying for finals together when things were falling apart, so I tried my best to make every experience positive for him--as positive as studying about marijuana distributors and cocaine addicts could be (It was criminal procedure, guys. Not my choice).

When we came back from the break in January, I continued to spend time with Zach, hoping to help him recover and hoping to help him not lose faith in dating or women or both. In the process of serving him, listening to him, and understanding what he was going through, I started to develop strong emotional connections with him.

Zach became an even better friend. We started dating. Although it was slow and casual, my care and concern for him and his well-being deepened. I got to know not just the "crisis-mode Zach" but the fun Zach, the silly Zach, the rapper Zach, the wicked smart Zach, the thoughtful Zach, well you get it--the many sides of Zach.

(We went on our very first road trip to Vegas. Think Hangover combined with That Thing You Do. That was our trip.)

(And we went to the Beatles LOVE show.)


It was wonderful to learn about him, to serve him, and to become so close to him, but at the same time I was constantly getting bogged down by external forces that made me doubt and question daily whether we should be together.


(An acrostic I wrote on my doorstep before one of our dates.)

Then something serious happened. Because these experiences are so special to me, I will leave most of them off this blog, but I just want to touch on some of them. My mission president said some things at the mission reunion in early April that really struck me. He also said some pretty profound, even prophetic things. That experience, coupled with a few more during General Conference weekend, led me to the largest, cheesiest display of affection I have ever undertaken.

I wrote down 100 things that I love about Zach, coupled them with a note, placed them inside a case with a bass guitar (he plays bass), and left it on his parent's doorstep where he was staying that weekend.


A few more things happened, and I realized how much I loved Zach and how patient I was willing to be for him to do the things he needed to do to figure out his life--to get back to normal and to be happy again. I decided not to care about any external factors and just to focus on loving Zach and showing him the respect and patience he deserved.

(This was a pivotal night--a day that will live in infamy.)

Over time, though, I realized that resolve was harder to keep than it was to say. And another wonderful guy came into my life who was ready to date me, to commit to me, to serve me, and to love me, without the constant relationship-nurturing that it seemed our relationship required.

I was happy in my new relationship, but I never felt the deep, abiding connection that I did with Zach. From the moment I broke up with Zach, Zach had begun an elaborate scheme to try to "win me back." Yeah right, I thought. He had his chance. I was convinced that this was "crisis mode" behavior--that he was acting on impulse and that he was not really like this.

I didn't speak to him for a week. His friends, his family members, and our mutual friends sent sincere and heartfelt text messages and gchats my way about how hurt he was and how I needed to at least talk to him. And I felt bad for Zach. So I did just that.

I talked to him. And we spent time together. Then we talked some more. Days passed. After I realized he hadn't gone crazy but that he had just realized a little slower than me how strong his feelings were, we continued to date.

And I have never been happier. I was always happy with Zach before, and I loved him just the way he was, but now when I see the Zach who actually reciprocates feelings, I am blown away. He is the world's biggest sweetheart. And the funny thing is, I didn't even need or expect a sweetheart. I just wanted a really close friend.

Luckily Zach is that and so much more.

(He took me to Thanksgiving Point's Tulip Festival after finding out that tulips were my favorite flower.)

(Sorry for the sap. I just thought I talk a lot about the drama of dating that it's time for me to be a little vulnerable and actually share a sweet story.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Grades

I will be so happy for the day that my performance and success in life is results based and not grades based. When I write appellate briefs, I want the outcome to be my client winning the appeal, not receiving an A- in drafting. When I become a mother, I want my teaching techniques to my children translate into well-mannered and educated offspring, not a B+ in Child Development.

But until that day, it's nice to see straight As on my transcript from last semester, if only for a small while.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Fame and Fortune

Hello Internet,

I have a nephew.
He is pretty neat.
He's only 11 years old,
But he's 100 percent sweet.

He likes to learn new stuff
and finds it rather fun.
Instead of getting dirty
he likes to get things done.

So he and his best friend
Made a film called World War 3
Then they made a commercial
And sent it along to me.

He said he wants to be famous
And fame equals a youtube view
So if you love me or him or youtube
You'll click below to make his dreams come true.

Thank you. Love, Sara.

Christian's Commercial--Click here

P.S. I'll post World Ward 3 when it becomes available on DVD. Check back soon.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Music Rubbers

I'm SOOOOO grateful I have musically talented friends. I hope that some of their talent rubs off on me. The reason I'm gushing over my musical friends is that I just developed a whole bucket load of pictures from the past year and I noticed a common theme: concerts, jam sessions, music after parties, and moments that should've had their own soundtrack.

Here is a little sampling of the wonderfulness that was my musical year.

This is Rhett and me in Vegas. What's musical about it? I'm wearing a "Fun." shirt. What's cool about this picture? My camera's lens broke, so we just asked the drunk woman who took it to point it in our general direction and we'd find out later if the photo would develop. Turns out it did:




These are pictures of my hot (married) former Temple Square mission companion and me at Candlelight Serenade at Thanksgiving Point last summer:





Then, what a surprise, I bumped into my BFF from my freshman year and later but less-close friend from a very hilarious circumstance that I would recount here if this blog were private. Alas it is not. Here is Tyler Glenn (of Neon Trees) and Ashley Mollerup:



And then at Travis' recording studio post Empirates show at Velour:




And then Ben and me with this dude from Idaho whom we met at the Empirates show, who we invited to the after party, who subsequently came. He was pretty legit. But I lost his business card. If you recognize this man, please call me at 1-800-FIND-HIM:




Then some crazies got ahold of my camera and took crazy pictures. I can't identify the people. (Actually I can, I just shouldn't.)



Two members of "Good Manor," a band I managed, waiting to receive their business checking accounts at Wells Fargo.




Here is the opening act at a house show we threw last year. In the background is my future ex-boyfriend, Tanner with his soon-to-be ex girlfriend, Carolyn. Fun memories.



And I took Leland to that same house show, where we made creme brulee and made everyone feel like we had planned pyrotechnics as part of the ambience. Truthfully we just wanted brulee on our creme:



This is my sister-in-law Maria, her sister-in-law Virginia (or something. I don't remember), and me after my one and only 5K in Richfield, Utah on July 5th. My official time was 23:21 and 5th in my age division. That's why I will never run another 5K again. How does this relate to music, you ask? Well, to train for this run I made myself a play list of several "pump me up" songs so that at certain times during the run I'd know "Hey, when Miley Cyrus comes on, I should be at mile 1" and "Garth is singing: you better reach the finish line!" So yeah. There you go:



And then the best of all--my bro. Last New Year's Eve we had a little impromptu karaoke party at the lake house. Well when we were all done and just chatting and playing relaxing card games, Chris (my brother) went over to the karaoke machine and just popped in song after song, singing along. We rang in the New Year with his voice. At one point, I looked at the watch so I could document how long he sang straight through. I think it turned out to be about 70 minutes. He's a champ.

Monday, May 2, 2011

In the mood again

More haikus anyone?

I'm a little rusty but after someone wrote a gorgeous haiku for me last night, I got inspired.

Since the first I thought
That it couldn't get any
Better. I was wrong.

Hope is power that
leads from a great present to
A better future.

Is this history
Repeating itself? Or was
I right the first time?

All A's on transcript
Make me feel good about me.
You make me feel best.

Writing in journals
Is cathartic. Writing on
Hearts is dangerous.

More to come when I get over this obvious writer's block.