News Feed Poetry

I got sick of tapping into my deep psyche (I'm convinced now that the more "on a roll" you get with Haikus, the more you dig up stuff that should be left undisturbed.) So instead, I thought it would be fun to use people's Facebook statuses as inspiration for haikus. Some statuses hardly needed editing. Some required imagination and interpretation on my part. Either way, they're interesting to read, I think.


Experience joy
Thinking I had no chocolate
Then spotting the light.
--B. Daire


What’s up with all these?
Cute babies drive me crazy!
I’ll never have kids.
--W. Lee Chen

Oh Sick! A brownie!
Wait, it’s just a bag of dirt.
This can’t fill my needs.
--M. Grow

I thought I knew best
Not to take that blasted nap
Why did I give in?
--M. Heaton

So glad for weekends
Recentering, relaxing
It has been perfect
--H. Haslem

To ski or snowboard?
The final decision waits
Until next season
--S. Wilson

Had a crappy day.
It ended better than hoped;
Thank you family.
--A. Byam Gardner

In my family,
Hearing: "Well that didn’t suck,"
Is a compliment.
--W. White

I know that He Lives.
The Redeemer gives comfort.
So does this sentence.
--D. Sparish

Don’t click on the link
That asks if you’ve seen a pic.
It’s bad; I got hacked.
--L. Weatherholtz

It’s time to go home.
Enough Substantial Writing
Fail for one weekend.
--J. Alisa

At one point today
31 people were here.
Big families rock!
--C. Taylor

And it came to pass
Tomorrow the PTA
Would rule the people.
--M. Fitzner

Shout out to law peeps:
Anyone have good cases
On Sharia Law?
--J. Alisa

Great Sunday today!
I love being LDS.
And I love the church.
--A. Paz

Behind in classes,
Stressed out of my mind. And yet,
We bought our first home!
--C. Hutchings

27 weeks
With Braxton Hicks contractions
Should I be worried?
-S. Rauch

Thinking of summer
Prague, Croatia, and Nauvoo
Paninis with friends
--J. Tibbitts

Most beautiful day
Every day should be perfect
Grilled steaks and nice walks.
--S. Lindberg

Delicious cookies
Given one hour ago
Already they’re gone.
--K. Post

Husband eats breakfast
Sardines with lemon juice, So
Is cookie dough wrong?
--M. Carmen Chinison

Dreaming of bathrooms;
Also, my car got stolen.
Wonder what this means.
--S. Zollinger

Those who danced were thought
To be insane by those who
Could not hear music.
--P. Deming

Cold and pouring rain
My car window won't roll up
Five hours to drive.
--H. Hassell

A guy in our ward
Looks like Paul Bunyan and sings
Soprano in choir.
--T. Merrill

My mind will explode
With all this Drag that's tonight
Bring extra tissues
--A. Wainner

BYU Singles
Can be compared to lepers
But that is unfair.
--Z. Pendleton

I'm back in Utah.
Not looking forward to snow.
Texas is 80.
--T. White