The Book of Mormon and Daily Haiku

I want to see The Book of Mormon musical SOOOO badly.

I'm going to New York in two months. When I'm there, I will see it for sure. Anyone interested in coming with me, let's rock the shows.

-SEP

Haiku of the day
Today was so long
And full of productive things.
Make it continue.

Haiku Heaven

I'm convinced sleep is like a temperamental train; you can buy a ticket, but if you aren't on the platform when it comes (and you never know when it'll come), you may miss it completely. That's what happened tonight.

So what do I do?
When I'm stuck on sleep's platform?
I write these haikus:

Okay but seriously: My modern dance teacher asked us to write a haiku and choreograph a dance that symbolizes the haiku. So I started with haikus that are easily interpretable through movement:

Snow drips off the trees;
Wake up from hibernation;
Spring has greeted us.

AND

I hear the tide crash.
It masks the loud screams of your
Unresponsiveness.

Then, because I can't sleep, I continued to write and write and write and write. I'm afraid to share these haikus because at one point I think creative Sara dug too deep and personal with stuff she should not be sharing. But hopefully the true meaning will be lost on this audience. And hopefully you'll just get a kick out of some really cool/really lame/really weird haikus.


Cap and Gown in hand:
What took me three years to build
Is so quick to end.

They said if I shout,
I would hear my echo back.
I wait, and nothing.

Playing games is fun,
But what if your opponent
Thinks it is real life?

Your words produce tears
That music can drink away,
But not forever.

This life is to live.
Purgatory, though, I’ve learned
Can be hell on earth

Haikus are easy
When they lack feeling and depth.
It’s overrated.

I’m sorry I went,
I’m sorry I stayed; Forgive:
It’s a dirty word.

Believe me for now,
But don't believe me always.
I don't believe me.

Movement, song, and sport
Were such a part of my youth.
Now what do I have?

It's easy to blame,
But harder to see the truth.
We cannot face it.

Russian raises voice
To her Chinese boyfriend, Now
Starting World War Three?

Pay me for my words;
Pay me for understanding;
Don’t pay for my love.

Two princesses here:
One has rocks; one has knockers.
Which do you prefer?

Never thought one day
I’d ever find myself here.
Don’t know if that’s good.

I wish not to lie,
But it gets me what I want.
You are what I want.

Remember the beach?
The warm tide and crabs at night,
Being young was fun.

I can’t forget you
Even though it’s been five years
You’re a part of me.

If I had said yes,
Would I be the person now
That I want to be?

Kweller Forever
Reminds me of the city
And you on the train.

Tulips in winter
And love in the fall. Summer
Is for breaking up.

My bed is calling,
But my dreams just inspire
To keep creating.

Friends come in and stay.
You serve them wine and bad cheese
And they go away.

I like you, I think.
But I think things that are wrong.
Perhaps there's no love.

Protecting her heart
Was what you wanted to do,
And now mine has stopped.

Lying never works
Nor does telling the truth, though.
What's a girl to do?

When you said "Goodbye,"
John wrote a song about it.
Now I say, "Hello."

Why is she still up?
And screaming at her boyfriend?
Break up all ready!

The house smells funny
Maybe it's the third day that
Food has been left out.

Why do girls hate girls,
When the boy does something wrong?
I won't ever know.

I hope I have kids
To shape, love, mold, and care for
Who am I kidding?

Some dreams work better
When you pretend they'll happen.
I do that with you.

If I was Iraq,
Would resources motivate
Your swift invasion?

Click here to read my haikus inspired by Facebook status updates.

News Feed Poetry

I got sick of tapping into my deep psyche (I'm convinced now that the more "on a roll" you get with Haikus, the more you dig up stuff that should be left undisturbed.) So instead, I thought it would be fun to use people's Facebook statuses as inspiration for haikus. Some statuses hardly needed editing. Some required imagination and interpretation on my part. Either way, they're interesting to read, I think.


Experience joy
Thinking I had no chocolate
Then spotting the light.
--B. Daire


What’s up with all these?
Cute babies drive me crazy!
I’ll never have kids.
--W. Lee Chen

Oh Sick! A brownie!
Wait, it’s just a bag of dirt.
This can’t fill my needs.
--M. Grow

I thought I knew best
Not to take that blasted nap
Why did I give in?
--M. Heaton

So glad for weekends
Recentering, relaxing
It has been perfect
--H. Haslem

To ski or snowboard?
The final decision waits
Until next season
--S. Wilson

Had a crappy day.
It ended better than hoped;
Thank you family.
--A. Byam Gardner

In my family,
Hearing: "Well that didn’t suck,"
Is a compliment.
--W. White

I know that He Lives.
The Redeemer gives comfort.
So does this sentence.
--D. Sparish

Don’t click on the link
That asks if you’ve seen a pic.
It’s bad; I got hacked.
--L. Weatherholtz

It’s time to go home.
Enough Substantial Writing
Fail for one weekend.
--J. Alisa

At one point today
31 people were here.
Big families rock!
--C. Taylor

And it came to pass
Tomorrow the PTA
Would rule the people.
--M. Fitzner

Shout out to law peeps:
Anyone have good cases
On Sharia Law?
--J. Alisa

Great Sunday today!
I love being LDS.
And I love the church.
--A. Paz

Behind in classes,
Stressed out of my mind. And yet,
We bought our first home!
--C. Hutchings

27 weeks
With Braxton Hicks contractions
Should I be worried?
-S. Rauch

Thinking of summer
Prague, Croatia, and Nauvoo
Paninis with friends
--J. Tibbitts

Most beautiful day
Every day should be perfect
Grilled steaks and nice walks.
--S. Lindberg

Delicious cookies
Given one hour ago
Already they’re gone.
--K. Post

Husband eats breakfast
Sardines with lemon juice, So
Is cookie dough wrong?
--M. Carmen Chinison

Dreaming of bathrooms;
Also, my car got stolen.
Wonder what this means.
--S. Zollinger

Those who danced were thought
To be insane by those who
Could not hear music.
--P. Deming

Cold and pouring rain
My car window won't roll up
Five hours to drive.
--H. Hassell

A guy in our ward
Looks like Paul Bunyan and sings
Soprano in choir.
--T. Merrill

My mind will explode
With all this Drag that's tonight
Bring extra tissues
--A. Wainner

BYU Singles
Can be compared to lepers
But that is unfair.
--Z. Pendleton

I'm back in Utah.
Not looking forward to snow.
Texas is 80.
--T. White

I caved. Lips!

You know what? I need to feel vindicated. So I found a picture of this girl's lips. (Don't ask. I'm all sorts of crazy--I mean crazy intelligent.) So please tell me I'm not too weird to have complimented her on her full, well-shapen lips. Some people pay good money for this:

Embarrassing Moment of the Day

My life is one big embarrassing moment after the next. I like to tell myself that I do it for the sake of comedy, but sometimes things just slip out of my mouth. Perhaps I just have so much practice saying ridiculous things for the sake of a laugh that when it's time to just be normal, I'm already conditioned to be ridiculous.

Moving on...

I went to Smith's with some friends tonight to grab some "stay awake medicine." (Don't tell the honor code office.)

As we were passing the feminine products aisles, along comes my ex-boyfriend Bryce pushing a shopping cart with some beautiful brunette by his side. I did the obligatory "Hey!" in an "Oh this is so not awkward to run into you, and I'm thrilled to see you again in such a non-confrontational environment" sort of way.

Then came the, "Has it been long enough that we just say hi or keep walking or are we going to stop and pretend to catch up" moment? He stopped his cart. I stopped my entourage, and so as to not throw off the rhythm of the moment, I placed my right hand up in the air to give him a high five. As our hands were moving toward each other I realized he was actually trying to give me a hug. We ended up looking like one of those renaissance promenade dancers that take two steps in, touch each other's hand, and then take two steps back, only with a jealous female onlooker and a really awkward back story.

Bryce then asked, "So what is this? Are we going to hug? Are we at that point?" So then he made me feel like I was the foolish one to respect his hugging space near a girl who, for all I knew, was his new wife. So I went in for a hug, screaming at my brain to not employ my usual manipulative techniques to intimidate the chick next to him and to get him to flirt with me back. I succeeded at that--and pretty much failed at life after that.

So then Bryce and I made small talk for a few minutes, and I looked over at her to cue him to introduce us. He did. I reached over the cart to shake her hand and asked to repeat her name because clearly it wasn't the embarrassing, bed pan-esque name that Bryce had said. (To protect her identity, I will not reveal her name). But yes, she repeated her name, that allowed me to easily intimidate and destroy her. But I didn't. After my quizzical look she just said, "Oh bed pan, as in short for "Betty Panda." Ok... My mind was trying so hard to focus on the positive that I found the most obvious positive thing about this girl--her lips.

So I did it. Right after, "Nice to meet you," I said, "You have really pretty lips." Oops. That sounds creepy. You better qualify that statement. "I mean, it could just be your lipstick," nope, not the right qualifier, though she did put on a lot of lipstick and it's kind of running off her lips at the top "or it could just be the result of good genes" Oh my gosh, I'm pretty sure I just gave her enough evidence for a restraining order. Look away. Just look away. I resumed conversation with Bryce and then got the heck out of there.

I could go more into detail, but it's just too hard to swallow. Anyway, the moral of this story is... Oh who knows? I obviously don't have the answers.

And because I like posts with pictures but I didn't want poor Bryce (or Bed Pan) to suffer, I will just include a picture of a T-shirt design contest Bryce and I entered once upon a time (and should've won, by the way).



Update: Click here for a picture of infamous Lipgate 2011!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

My freshman year in college, my roommate Ashley and I posted pictures of our guy friends on our dorm room door and asked passersby to vote for the hottest man for V-day. We got quite a big turnout. We had more than 200 votes and we had somewhere in the ballpark of 30 pictures.

Well this Valentine's Day you only get one. See this Valentine's Day (and the days leading up to it) I've been thinking a lot about love and this person repeatedly entered my mind:

My Mommy.
(I vowed I'd call her Mommy for the rest of my life. But when I got to high school and noticed it wasn't cool, I forced myself to say "Mom." I swear it took a year to transition.)



I've been thinking about my mom not only because of how much I love her but also because she was the first person to teach me love: what is love, how to love, who to love, and everything in between.

My mom met my dad, got engaged, got married, gave birth to a special needs child, and was pregnant with her second all before she turned twenty. She wasn't planning on becoming a mother so young, but she was willing to give up her dreams and educational ambitions because of love. She loved my dad and she loved my oldest sister, Jenny, so she started her longest-running profession: stay-at-home mother and homemaker.

For awhile, my mom took a lot of criticism for bearing any more children after having a special needs child, particularly from her mother-in-law. I could only imagine how discouraging that type of criticism would be to a 20-year old young newlywed mother. Why did she have more kids? I don't know everything, but I know that she loved and adored children. She loved family and wanted to add to hers.

I am so grateful she did because, as child number 6, I would've had no chance at all of having her be my wonderful mother had she given up at 1...or 5 for that matter.

I can relay countless expressions of love from my mom, but a better tribute would be one that people would actually read. So I'll list the highlights.

My mom encouraged me in my talents
When I was 10, I was playing a bunch of Disney songs by ear. I wanted to take piano lessons so badly. My mom saw this determination and paid for me to take private lessons from that time until I graduated high school. When I was 11, the orchestra teachers came to my elementary school to recruit string players. I was fascinated by the violin. I asked my mother if I could play it. She not only allowed me to but also paid for private lessons up until high school as well.

My mom encouraged me in my non-talents.
I was a natural performer from birth. I needed to be the center of attention. While perhaps some in my family tried to squash that need, my mom nourished it. For example, I would come up with synchronized swimming routines in the pool as a kid (by myself, mind you) or interpretive dances to REO Speedwagon songs. She would watch and also encourage others in the family to watch.

She never left me. Ever.
Maybe this isn't healthy now, but I was sure grateful at the time. When I was sick, my mom would always feed me crackers and sprite, stay by my bedside, and rub my hair until I fell asleep. That's a long time! And she would do this all the time. Occasionally she would snuggle me in my bed. And I got very accustomed to afternoon cuddle naps with my mom in her bed (in Kindergarten we only had half-days so it was just me and her at home).

I am a grown woman, and still to this day when I get pretty aggressively ill, the first words out of my mouth are a mindless groan, "Mo-oomm......"

Emotionally, she is wonder woman.
My mom is the most in-touch with her emotions as anyone else in this world. It was always OK to cry in front of her. It was always OK to feel anger, hurt, elation, giddiness, or any emotion. She never judged me for it or made me feel like it was unacceptable. She was just there for me in whatever capacity I needed her. She still is.

She is so feminine and domestic.
My mom is such an example of what a Mormon housewife should be. She has lots of kids, she can cook, she can paint, she can sing, she can play the piano, she can sew. Oh man, and does she ever sew well. I can't even sew a button.

The fact is, among all the things she has done for me, the best of all is that she loved me unconditionally, and in turn, I know how to love.

And I love her!

Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy!

The Hard Choices

Given the choice between eating either almost ripe strawberries for the rest of my life or very ripe avocados, I would choose the avocados.

Peer Pressure is the new black

Accomplishment of the day: Cartwheel on the balance beam.

Brought to you by: Male peer pressure.

Here's the thing. I've been working on a handstand on the high beam forever and ever. I still can't manage to get it perpendicular, but I'm not too worried about it because most my classmates are still only attempting it on the low beam (typical law student--measuring my own accomplishments by how well others are doing).


I should start by saying that after the women's gymnastics class at 9, there is a men's gymnastics class at 10. Our coach lets a few girls stay after and practice as long as it doesn't interfere with the dudes. Well dudes don't do the balance beam so I had it all to myself. Ok, so....

I got bored trying and I asked the coach what other skills we would be required to finally complete on the balance beam by the end of the semester. Cartwheel? Optional. An advanced skill that we could include in our routine but didn't have to.

So I decided that, to mix it up, I would alternate trying a cartwheel on the low beam and trying a handstand on the high beam. (PS--the low beam is not a competitive apparatus; it's just a practice apparatus that helps you feel more comfortable doing the skills on the regular beam). So I started doing cartwheels on the low beam. It's an accomplishment to not only attempt a cartwheel, but to actually land it and not fall off when on the low beam. So after completing it a couple times and getting pretty emphatic cheers from a couple dudes who were around and telling me there's no way they could do it, I decided to head over to the high beam and try a handstand. But the boys who were just watching me and cheering me on said, "Oh man, you're going to try it up there. That's crazy awesome." Or something like that. They thought I was going to do a cartwheel up there.

So I couldn't disappoint the boys, right? So I got up on the scary high beam--not even able to do a 45 degree angle half-A handstand, and I attempted a cartwheel. Nope. Fell off. Tried again. Did it and landed it! Tried again. Nailed it again!

Not to brag or anything, but I'm just kind of proud of myself for being able to do a hard skill that we won't even need by the end of the semester. Yeah whatever, I just need something to overcompensate for my incompetency on the uneven bars.

In other news, I completed probably about 10 standing back handsprings (haven't been able to do those in almost ten years) and one round-off back handspring on the floor. Pretty happy about that, but now I've got killer bruises and my back is totally jacked.

Success.

Anyone want to hold my hand?

My hand...after I finally conquered one uneven bar yesterday:

Celebrate the small things

I am proud of myself for a few very small accomplishments. If I record my progress, I think it will make me try harder and reach my goals faster.


First, I completed three back hip circles without any spotter or assistance in my gymnastics class. They look easier than they really are, I promise you. Most of the girls cannot do it in the class yet. Of the ones that can, many have to still use spotters. Here's what one looks like: Back hip circle

(By the way, my hands and upper quads took quite the beating from repeatedly practicing this. I will upload pictures of my jacked-up hands later; I'll spare you the pictures of my bruised up legs.)

Second, I completed and landed a level handstand on the low beam and had the guts to repeatedly attempt it on the high beam. This is what it's supposed to look like: Handstand.

Last, we watched video clips of each member of the class running. One of BYU's running coaches said I could be an Olympic middle distance runner based on the way I run. I know that won't ever be true, but the good news is 1) I have really good form to run and run fast, and 2) I don't need to buy special running shoes to get good speed, distance, or form. It's built in to my genetics. Thanks Mom and Dad.