Friday I received an email from the Dean of Admissions. He asked if we could meet that morning. Immediately I thought the worst and knew I was being kicked out of law school. I prepared my speech, "It was all a big misunderstanding."
Instead, he offered me a job as a research assistant.
I am in charge of new media communications for newly admitted students to encourage them to matriculate at BYU. In a nutshell, I will be getting paid to constantly check Facebook.
But here's the cool part. I sent a mass text to my family telling them the good news. It was fun to see everyone's responses based on their own personalities and their own relationship to me:
Tina (sister closest in age): Sweet. Congratulations.
Damon (brother-in-law): Holy #*$%. That's great. Will this impact your summer plans?**
(after telling him I'd still be home for the summer): Congrats. That's awesome.
Sherrie (oldest sister): Congrats!
Mom: congratulations! As always, i am so proud of you.
Dad: of the law school?
(after answering first questions): Tell him you already have a job.
(after answering Dad's next concern): When do you work and how much do you get paid?
(after answering his third concern): Which is?
(after answering last concern): Hope you have time.
No texts from my sister Emily or brother Chris. Why? Because Chris is an "as-necessary" man. If he doesn't need to respond he won't. I think it's implied he's proud of me. :) And Emily only checks her phone every several hours so by the time she found out, Damon was probably home and told her he congratulated me for the both of them.
Love my fam.
**For the record, Damon doesn't swear but he pretends like he does. He literally used those characters on the text, not a swear word.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Life lesson of the day
NEVER.
EVER.
SHOWER
...after slicing jalapenos.
No matter how much hand-washing you do after fondling those hot little devils, you will never rid yourself of the spicy sensation.
guaranteed.
EVER.
SHOWER
...after slicing jalapenos.
No matter how much hand-washing you do after fondling those hot little devils, you will never rid yourself of the spicy sensation.
guaranteed.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
They call me a player...a team player
I just took a test to find out my mediation style. It's for this course I am taking to become a court-certified mediator for the state of Utah. Here are the results, if you even care:
Your Results
Demand (6)
Convince (15)
Negotiate (7)
Team Work (10)
Support (4)
Avoid (3)
Interpreting Scores
~ The highest possible in each category is 15.
~ None are inferior; all can be appropriate depending upon factors.
~ The goal is to be able to use all of the styles at the appropriate time
~ Highest score - most comfortable style.
~ Lowest score - least natural.
~ Even scores means you are even balanced in the different styles.
~ Difference of only one or two points - easy to have second style be a ready back up.
~ Difference of two or more - tendency to hold on to style longer even when the style is not working.
The Deming Conflict Styles
The most important aspect to understand about the conflict styles is that they are not permanent. Each style has positive and negative aspects. The goal is to learn traits from each style and be able to easily move from one style to the other depending on the situation.
Convincers - I, We, You
Convince - Attempting to persuade someone to accept your point of view.
Communication Traits - Smooth talkers, charming, and charismatic. Usually very likable people and have good leadership skills. Tend to exaggerate the positive. Love to debate. TIP: Need to work on listening skills because they usually bring up their own experience and think about what they are going to say next instead of listening. Need to make sure and follow through with commitments.
Positive Aspects:
~ Usually get their way (Ummm... I'm pretty sure I already told you that in #12 here.)
~ Used extensively in the business world
~ Does not use force, but uses logic, reasoning, and charm
Negative Aspects:
~ When there is no trust, convincing will not work
~ Others may feel cheated
Professions that use the style:
~ Car Salesman, telemarketer, politician, and advertiser
Best when:
~ The idea is so important to you that you don’t have any flexibility
~ You want to convince others of your ideas
Works best with:
~ Convincers
Team Workers - We, You, I
Team Workers - Collaborating and using creativity to make everyone satisfied.
Communication Traits - Creative, considerate, good listeners and talkers. Usually focuses on the positive. Very social and amicable. They are only completely happy if others are happy too. TIP: Need to realize that not everyone is a team player and they need skills in other areas so they do not get taken advantage of.
Positive Aspects:
~ Creative
~ Makes everyone satisfied by combining options
~ Knows how to listen and express feelings
Negative Aspects:
~ May get taken advantage of, especially in business world.
~ Does not work unless everyone wants to be involved, fair, and honest.
~ Takes a lot of time.
Professions that use the style:
~ Mediators, human resource, communication department, or company management
Best when:
~ The relationship is important to you
~ Working with other teamworkers
~ Have plenty of time
Works best with:
~ Team Workers
Your Results
Demand (6)
Convince (15)
Negotiate (7)
Team Work (10)
Support (4)
Avoid (3)
Interpreting Scores
~ The highest possible in each category is 15.
~ None are inferior; all can be appropriate depending upon factors.
~ The goal is to be able to use all of the styles at the appropriate time
~ Highest score - most comfortable style.
~ Lowest score - least natural.
~ Even scores means you are even balanced in the different styles.
~ Difference of only one or two points - easy to have second style be a ready back up.
~ Difference of two or more - tendency to hold on to style longer even when the style is not working.
The Deming Conflict Styles
The most important aspect to understand about the conflict styles is that they are not permanent. Each style has positive and negative aspects. The goal is to learn traits from each style and be able to easily move from one style to the other depending on the situation.
Convincers - I, We, You
Convince - Attempting to persuade someone to accept your point of view.
Communication Traits - Smooth talkers, charming, and charismatic. Usually very likable people and have good leadership skills. Tend to exaggerate the positive. Love to debate. TIP: Need to work on listening skills because they usually bring up their own experience and think about what they are going to say next instead of listening. Need to make sure and follow through with commitments.
Positive Aspects:
~ Usually get their way (Ummm... I'm pretty sure I already told you that in #12 here.)
~ Used extensively in the business world
~ Does not use force, but uses logic, reasoning, and charm
Negative Aspects:
~ When there is no trust, convincing will not work
~ Others may feel cheated
Professions that use the style:
~ Car Salesman, telemarketer, politician, and advertiser
Best when:
~ The idea is so important to you that you don’t have any flexibility
~ You want to convince others of your ideas
Works best with:
~ Convincers
Team Workers - We, You, I
Team Workers - Collaborating and using creativity to make everyone satisfied.
Communication Traits - Creative, considerate, good listeners and talkers. Usually focuses on the positive. Very social and amicable. They are only completely happy if others are happy too. TIP: Need to realize that not everyone is a team player and they need skills in other areas so they do not get taken advantage of.
Positive Aspects:
~ Creative
~ Makes everyone satisfied by combining options
~ Knows how to listen and express feelings
Negative Aspects:
~ May get taken advantage of, especially in business world.
~ Does not work unless everyone wants to be involved, fair, and honest.
~ Takes a lot of time.
Professions that use the style:
~ Mediators, human resource, communication department, or company management
Best when:
~ The relationship is important to you
~ Working with other teamworkers
~ Have plenty of time
Works best with:
~ Team Workers
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Rules.
OK, so I caved. I made more New Year's Resolutions. Because if I don't keep the one from my previous post(fingers crossed) I would feel like such a failure. So please help me keep these rules of 2010:
* 100 percent visiting teaching
* Lose 35 pounds by summer
* Apply to one firm every day until my Texas trip (Feb. 13)
* Travel
See Daniel? Most of my goals do NOT involve kissing. :)
* 100 percent visiting teaching
* Lose 35 pounds by summer
* Apply to one firm every day until my Texas trip (Feb. 13)
* Travel
See Daniel? Most of my goals do NOT involve kissing. :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Two Down, 363 to go
I have always been extremely goal oriented. At the beginning of each new year I usually concoct fifteen goals that fit neatly into four little categories, all bent at improving who I am. I never reach them all. This year, though, I only made one goal. So far, I've almost already broken that one.
That goal is to kiss no more than two boys this year.
The goal really is to only kiss people who I could see myself marrying but I have to quantify it or else my lawyer brain will find some justification why I "might eventually" feel like I want to marry some boy.
I held out strong today even though it was extremely difficult. I will feel like such a winner if this goal is kept.
That goal is to kiss no more than two boys this year.
The goal really is to only kiss people who I could see myself marrying but I have to quantify it or else my lawyer brain will find some justification why I "might eventually" feel like I want to marry some boy.
I held out strong today even though it was extremely difficult. I will feel like such a winner if this goal is kept.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Copycat
A few days ago I blogged about a date where I discovered the antics I pull when dating. Tonight I went on a date with a guy who, through clear and convincing evidence, I'm pretty sure read the last blog entry and conformed his date around it. At first I was weirded out but some of the things he was doing. But then I thought, "Wait a minute...aren't these sort of a version of what I wrote on my blog?" The gig was up. So, "Peter," if/when you read this, I'm sorry I am broadcasting our date publicly. But I guess that's what you get for virtually stalking me.
When I got home and explained the date to my roommate, she said, "You can't outplay the player...especially using her own game. That's right, Katie. That's right. Here's how the date went down, using my own bullet points.
1. I plan every move.
He admitted to me that for weeks and weeks and weeks before the date he did extensive research on me. He quizzed boys I had previously dated; he asked people in the ward who had known me for awhile about me; he asked random law connections that I don't even know that well. And I'm beginning to think he also read through this blog, too.
2. I rely heavily on looks. It makes or break the rest of my relationship with a guy.
First, he spared no potential moment of silence by exclaiming how "beautiful" and how "sexy" he thinks I am.
Second, you may remember my last blog post where I emphasized the guy's height as the most attractive thing. Guess what he chose to focus on: his height. He's 6' 4" and he just kept going off about he attractive that is to women. Coincidence? I think not.
3. I am not myself early on--I parrot a boy's personality until about date three.
Early on, like within the first five minutes, "Peter" told me how much he liked me. From then on when I would try to give him a reason not to be attracted to me, he would only follow up with a reason why he's the exact same way. At one point I said I was completely heartless and it's hard for me to really connect to people. He followed: "Oh yeah, me too! I know I seem like a nice guy, but some people get on my nerves a lot." He was serious.
4. I decide early if I'm going to like a boy.
Like I said, within the first five minutes he had told me how much he liked me. By the end of the date he had explained to me all my wonderful characteristics that attracted him to me (mind you, this is our first date so this is all information he gathered beforehand), including my perfect height, impeccable taste in ice cream, and good manners. As he drove me home, he said, "I think I'm already starting to fall in love with you. It's gonna be hard for you to stop me."
5. I put myself in jeopardy to maximize my date's potential.
My last post talked about how I didn't wear a jacket to see if he'd offer his. Well this date I wore a jacket, but he kept asking if I was cold. Later, I noticed he dressed in several layers. Perhaps expecting to share his jacket??
6. I heavily use jealousy to expedite their crush on me.
He once talked about all the dates he was going on and how his roommates always complained about not getting any dates. Other than that, maybe he should've milked the jealousy card a little more. He did ask if I there was anyone, besides himself, that I was romantically interested in. To which I responded, "I love boys. I have a crush on every boy." To which I should've responded, "Well, you've read my blog. You should know the answer to that."
7. I am a detective.
Ummm...it should be obvious by now.
8. I touch boys. And I laugh lovingly at them.
Last post I emphasized how touching is good but overdoing it is not. He overdid it: way too early and out of context. Within five minutes of the date, he had his arm around me uncomfortably as we walked down the streets of Provo. All I could think about was the guy who had left my house not five minutes before with whom I have a history. I was hoping he wouldn't see. But then again I thought it might help with the jealousy points. Anyway, this arm around me stuff happened intermittently throughout the night. Overdone. Weird.
9. I play major reverse psychology. I manipudate the situation when I feel like the boy is getting the upper edge.
This is a step that only true players know how to execute. He probably was confused when he read this on my post because he very apparently did not follow it. In fact, if he had flooded the date with this, he may actually have a shot at a return date. But instead, I had the upper hand the entire night and didn't even have to work for it.
10. I find opportunities to let them shine and then I compliment them on it.
Everything. Everything I did, including when I kept kicking snow on him, was spectacular--He loved it. It made me ill.
Okay so maybe I made a big deal about the guy from the last post liking the same band and the same dessert as me, but I didn't tell him those things and say we'd make a great couple. I only observed them. This guy took "we like the same ice cream" and "we both don't like long plane rides" to mean that we'd make a great couple.
11. I surgically plant in their heads the idea that this is not the last time we will see each other.
This was more than surgery; it was my strapped on a gurney being punctured in every possible vein. At every inopportune moment, Mr. Peter talked about "the next time we go out" to the point where he even said that by date four I would be madly in love with him. Hmmmmm. On the doorstep at the end of the night he asked when we could go out again. I insisted he called me later. He insisted we schedule it right then and there. He didn't realize he had delivered the upper hand on a silver platter to me and that I wouldn't budge. He relented and said he'd call next week and take me to dinner. Cool.
12. I win. Always.
Nope.
Story NOT to be continued....
On another note: Mr. Boy from below, let's call him Skyler, texted me today. We're going out some time next week. Fingers crossed. :)
When I got home and explained the date to my roommate, she said, "You can't outplay the player...especially using her own game. That's right, Katie. That's right. Here's how the date went down, using my own bullet points.
1. I plan every move.
He admitted to me that for weeks and weeks and weeks before the date he did extensive research on me. He quizzed boys I had previously dated; he asked people in the ward who had known me for awhile about me; he asked random law connections that I don't even know that well. And I'm beginning to think he also read through this blog, too.
2. I rely heavily on looks. It makes or break the rest of my relationship with a guy.
First, he spared no potential moment of silence by exclaiming how "beautiful" and how "sexy" he thinks I am.
Second, you may remember my last blog post where I emphasized the guy's height as the most attractive thing. Guess what he chose to focus on: his height. He's 6' 4" and he just kept going off about he attractive that is to women. Coincidence? I think not.
3. I am not myself early on--I parrot a boy's personality until about date three.
Early on, like within the first five minutes, "Peter" told me how much he liked me. From then on when I would try to give him a reason not to be attracted to me, he would only follow up with a reason why he's the exact same way. At one point I said I was completely heartless and it's hard for me to really connect to people. He followed: "Oh yeah, me too! I know I seem like a nice guy, but some people get on my nerves a lot." He was serious.
4. I decide early if I'm going to like a boy.
Like I said, within the first five minutes he had told me how much he liked me. By the end of the date he had explained to me all my wonderful characteristics that attracted him to me (mind you, this is our first date so this is all information he gathered beforehand), including my perfect height, impeccable taste in ice cream, and good manners. As he drove me home, he said, "I think I'm already starting to fall in love with you. It's gonna be hard for you to stop me."
5. I put myself in jeopardy to maximize my date's potential.
My last post talked about how I didn't wear a jacket to see if he'd offer his. Well this date I wore a jacket, but he kept asking if I was cold. Later, I noticed he dressed in several layers. Perhaps expecting to share his jacket??
6. I heavily use jealousy to expedite their crush on me.
He once talked about all the dates he was going on and how his roommates always complained about not getting any dates. Other than that, maybe he should've milked the jealousy card a little more. He did ask if I there was anyone, besides himself, that I was romantically interested in. To which I responded, "I love boys. I have a crush on every boy." To which I should've responded, "Well, you've read my blog. You should know the answer to that."
7. I am a detective.
Ummm...it should be obvious by now.
8. I touch boys. And I laugh lovingly at them.
Last post I emphasized how touching is good but overdoing it is not. He overdid it: way too early and out of context. Within five minutes of the date, he had his arm around me uncomfortably as we walked down the streets of Provo. All I could think about was the guy who had left my house not five minutes before with whom I have a history. I was hoping he wouldn't see. But then again I thought it might help with the jealousy points. Anyway, this arm around me stuff happened intermittently throughout the night. Overdone. Weird.
9. I play major reverse psychology. I manipudate the situation when I feel like the boy is getting the upper edge.
This is a step that only true players know how to execute. He probably was confused when he read this on my post because he very apparently did not follow it. In fact, if he had flooded the date with this, he may actually have a shot at a return date. But instead, I had the upper hand the entire night and didn't even have to work for it.
10. I find opportunities to let them shine and then I compliment them on it.
Everything. Everything I did, including when I kept kicking snow on him, was spectacular--He loved it. It made me ill.
Okay so maybe I made a big deal about the guy from the last post liking the same band and the same dessert as me, but I didn't tell him those things and say we'd make a great couple. I only observed them. This guy took "we like the same ice cream" and "we both don't like long plane rides" to mean that we'd make a great couple.
11. I surgically plant in their heads the idea that this is not the last time we will see each other.
This was more than surgery; it was my strapped on a gurney being punctured in every possible vein. At every inopportune moment, Mr. Peter talked about "the next time we go out" to the point where he even said that by date four I would be madly in love with him. Hmmmmm. On the doorstep at the end of the night he asked when we could go out again. I insisted he called me later. He insisted we schedule it right then and there. He didn't realize he had delivered the upper hand on a silver platter to me and that I wouldn't budge. He relented and said he'd call next week and take me to dinner. Cool.
12. I win. Always.
Nope.
Story NOT to be continued....
On another note: Mr. Boy from below, let's call him Skyler, texted me today. We're going out some time next week. Fingers crossed. :)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A peephole into Sara's dating mind
Normally I don't write posts about boys and my encounters with them on the very off chance that they're somewhat like me and will stalk their way to my blog, read what I think about them, and never talk to me again. But today I'm taking my chances because I'm beyond a reasonable doubt sure last night's dude will never find this blog.
Last night I learned a lot about how I date and manipulate. I'll call it, manipudate. It's kind of funny because for some reason last night brought out all the qualities I have when I am trying to "catch" the opposite sex.
So last night four of us went to the Spurs game. I invited this boy who is the oldest son (whom I had never met prior to this week) of good family friends from my home ward. I thought it would b a nice gesture. He accepted. I picked him up at a bowling alley on my way down to the AT&T Center. Here's how the evening unfolded corresponding with the thing I learned about myself:
1. I plan every move.
I got out of the car. I mulled over whether or not to call him. He had texted me his number but I didn't text back because I did not want to seem too eager. So there I was, standing in the rain, wondering if he'll see me and come out or if I should go in looking for him. Would that look desperate too? Maybe I should just call him. I call him. Almost the second he answers we meet in the entrance. Dang! I shouldn't have called. Oh well, lesson learned. I turn off my phone for the rest of the night.
2. I rely heavily on looks. It makes or break the rest of my relationship with a guy.
There he stood in the entrance of the bowling alley, perfectly lit by the neon bug-infested signs above and behind him. He's 6'6". I immediately want to marry him. Assuming he eats meat and is averagely intelligent, I want him. See, tallness to me is like New Moon's Jacob to 40-year old moms. I totally swoon. The taller the better. this boy was BEST! I wondered if it was too soon to ask him to marry me.
3. I am not myself early on--I parrot a boy's personality until about date three.
Because it was extremely slick and I was driving a behemoth Yukon through downtown San Antonio, I asked if anyone wanted to drive instead. He volunteered. I like to sit really close to the steering wheel so I warned him that he'll have to majorly adjust the seat when he gets in. "Why, cuz I'm huge?" he asked. No, I thought, it's because I sit freakishly close to the steering wheel. "Yes, cuz you are HUUUUU-GE," I said.
4. I decide early if I'm going to like a boy.
The drive down to the AT&T Center wasn't too long, maybe half an hour. But in that time, I determined that this boy was perfect for me. My view could've been skewed because of his height (it seriously melts me until I can't concentrate on anything else), but I noticed he was conversational but not overly chatty; he was pleasant but not contrived; he was himself. He wasn't trying to be someone else. Then he names off his favorite bands. Number one: DEATH CAB. I almost died. That is my favorite band! Add to that the fact that when I mentioned one of my favorite up and coming bands "Fun" he said, "Oh yeah, he used to be the lead singer for The Format." Again, my heart skipped a beat and I feared death. Was this boy too good to be true? The cherry on top is the fact that he's from Texas, that he wants to be a high school history teacher (secret fantasy of mine), and that he's a self-proclaimed introvert, but not because he's shy--just because he does better in smaller groups. SWEET! Am I in love, I ask?
5. I put myself in jeopardy to maximize my date's potential.
As we stepped out into the frigid, rainy musk and walked the quarter mile to the entrance, I bit my lip and took it. I deliberately left my coat at home so that I could test if he would offer his (who does that??). He didn't even notice on the way in. (After the game, though, he did say "Where is your jacket, girl?" I said something and then we both went on merry way--me without a jacket.)
6. I heavily use jealousy to my expedite their crush on me.
He sat down first. I sat down next to him on that row. Linda's guy friend (we'll call him "Logan") sat next to me, then Linda sat at the end. With Logan next to me, I chatted him up, touched his arm for effect when he made a funny comment, and swapped stories about the Air Force (Logan is a doctor in the Air Force.) I occasionally moved my interest back to my boy to balance out the evening because I know jealousy should only be used in moderation. Several times as I looked back, however, the little skeez was dinking around on his iphone...
7. I am a detective.
This boy isn't dinking around...he's texting a girl. I take note of her first and last name for later use and then remember she's the girl who invited him over for New Year's. I straight up ask him about his "friend" and he tells me she's a Spurs fan. I plan on when the precise time is to ask him if this girl is more than a friend. I weight the pros and cons of each: right now so it's fresh? During a lull in the game so I don't sound too information-hungry now? In the car with Linda there? In the car alone with him? I decide on later in the game. I get an unexpected, unwelcome answer.
8. I touch boys. And I laugh lovingly at them.
Guys love two things: The love to think they're funny and they love when girls touch them. So when I like a boy, I make sure to do both simultaneously. I made sure to calculate each one to maximize each one's effectiveness. But not too much. If you overdo, it's weird. And I didn't overdo it. It was brilliant.
9. I play major reverse psychology. I manipudate the situation when I feel like the boy is getting the upper edge.
This boy wasn't a Spurs fan but he was a big basketball fan (He's 6'6", guys. Haven't you been reading?) For most of the game as I complimented him on his sense of humor, cool iphone, and his amazing height, I had to counter act so he knew I was in control of the situation. So...when I picked the winning color "dot" on the jumbo tron, I rubbed it in his face. When the Spurs would make a killer play I would slam that in his face. When he tried to bash on the Spurs, I playfully reminded him that his precious Jazz have never won a championship.
10. I find opportunities to let them shine and then I compliment them on it.
He decided we should leave early in light of the fact that the Spurs were winning by about 20 points. I did NOT want to leave until the end. What did I tell him? "Oh man, that's such a great idea." We walked out to the parking lot. We were walking for awhile and I said, "Are we lost?" He confidently responded that he has a good sense of direction and that he knew where we were going. I offered calculated encouragement: "That's great. I trust you." We drove back to the bowling alley to drop Linda off at her car. We proceeded home together in my car--just us. We decided to get shakes. EZ's or Sonic? He decidedly said Sonic and then straight up told me how good he was at making decisions. "Oh man, I love that. It is such a good quality," I assured him. Boys eat that stuff up.
Oh and just in case you were wondering, he wanted the banana cream pie shake at Sonic. Happens to be my favorite. This man could be missing his front teeth and partially retarded and I might still fall in love with him. His height and taste in music put him up there on the scale, but his taste in Sonic shakes made me fall in love. Literally. He may just be the guy version of me. I don't know yet.
11. I surgically plant in their heads the idea that this is not the last time we will see each other.
As we chatted about our favorite bands, and life back in Provo (he was leaving for P-town the next day), I talked about Las Vegas. (My friends and I are planning an explosively awesome trip to Vegas next semester). After he shared his lukewarm feelings about Sin City, I described our exciting plans and he said that sounds fun. Then I said, "Well if your Vegas trip had been like that would you have liked it more?" He said yes, so I invited him to come along. He accepted. BAM!
12. I win. Always.
Once I like a boy, they're mine. This one's got a potential girl, but she's just that. Potential. I have her name and very finely tuned detective skills. I already know quite a bit about her and she seems like a nice girl. I'm sure she'll make a great girlfriend...to someone else.
Story to be continued....
Last night I learned a lot about how I date and manipulate. I'll call it, manipudate. It's kind of funny because for some reason last night brought out all the qualities I have when I am trying to "catch" the opposite sex.
So last night four of us went to the Spurs game. I invited this boy who is the oldest son (whom I had never met prior to this week) of good family friends from my home ward. I thought it would b a nice gesture. He accepted. I picked him up at a bowling alley on my way down to the AT&T Center. Here's how the evening unfolded corresponding with the thing I learned about myself:
1. I plan every move.
I got out of the car. I mulled over whether or not to call him. He had texted me his number but I didn't text back because I did not want to seem too eager. So there I was, standing in the rain, wondering if he'll see me and come out or if I should go in looking for him. Would that look desperate too? Maybe I should just call him. I call him. Almost the second he answers we meet in the entrance. Dang! I shouldn't have called. Oh well, lesson learned. I turn off my phone for the rest of the night.
2. I rely heavily on looks. It makes or break the rest of my relationship with a guy.
There he stood in the entrance of the bowling alley, perfectly lit by the neon bug-infested signs above and behind him. He's 6'6". I immediately want to marry him. Assuming he eats meat and is averagely intelligent, I want him. See, tallness to me is like New Moon's Jacob to 40-year old moms. I totally swoon. The taller the better. this boy was BEST! I wondered if it was too soon to ask him to marry me.
3. I am not myself early on--I parrot a boy's personality until about date three.
Because it was extremely slick and I was driving a behemoth Yukon through downtown San Antonio, I asked if anyone wanted to drive instead. He volunteered. I like to sit really close to the steering wheel so I warned him that he'll have to majorly adjust the seat when he gets in. "Why, cuz I'm huge?" he asked. No, I thought, it's because I sit freakishly close to the steering wheel. "Yes, cuz you are HUUUUU-GE," I said.
4. I decide early if I'm going to like a boy.
The drive down to the AT&T Center wasn't too long, maybe half an hour. But in that time, I determined that this boy was perfect for me. My view could've been skewed because of his height (it seriously melts me until I can't concentrate on anything else), but I noticed he was conversational but not overly chatty; he was pleasant but not contrived; he was himself. He wasn't trying to be someone else. Then he names off his favorite bands. Number one: DEATH CAB. I almost died. That is my favorite band! Add to that the fact that when I mentioned one of my favorite up and coming bands "Fun" he said, "Oh yeah, he used to be the lead singer for The Format." Again, my heart skipped a beat and I feared death. Was this boy too good to be true? The cherry on top is the fact that he's from Texas, that he wants to be a high school history teacher (secret fantasy of mine), and that he's a self-proclaimed introvert, but not because he's shy--just because he does better in smaller groups. SWEET! Am I in love, I ask?
5. I put myself in jeopardy to maximize my date's potential.
As we stepped out into the frigid, rainy musk and walked the quarter mile to the entrance, I bit my lip and took it. I deliberately left my coat at home so that I could test if he would offer his (who does that??). He didn't even notice on the way in. (After the game, though, he did say "Where is your jacket, girl?" I said something and then we both went on merry way--me without a jacket.)
6. I heavily use jealousy to my expedite their crush on me.
He sat down first. I sat down next to him on that row. Linda's guy friend (we'll call him "Logan") sat next to me, then Linda sat at the end. With Logan next to me, I chatted him up, touched his arm for effect when he made a funny comment, and swapped stories about the Air Force (Logan is a doctor in the Air Force.) I occasionally moved my interest back to my boy to balance out the evening because I know jealousy should only be used in moderation. Several times as I looked back, however, the little skeez was dinking around on his iphone...
7. I am a detective.
This boy isn't dinking around...he's texting a girl. I take note of her first and last name for later use and then remember she's the girl who invited him over for New Year's. I straight up ask him about his "friend" and he tells me she's a Spurs fan. I plan on when the precise time is to ask him if this girl is more than a friend. I weight the pros and cons of each: right now so it's fresh? During a lull in the game so I don't sound too information-hungry now? In the car with Linda there? In the car alone with him? I decide on later in the game. I get an unexpected, unwelcome answer.
8. I touch boys. And I laugh lovingly at them.
Guys love two things: The love to think they're funny and they love when girls touch them. So when I like a boy, I make sure to do both simultaneously. I made sure to calculate each one to maximize each one's effectiveness. But not too much. If you overdo, it's weird. And I didn't overdo it. It was brilliant.
9. I play major reverse psychology. I manipudate the situation when I feel like the boy is getting the upper edge.
This boy wasn't a Spurs fan but he was a big basketball fan (He's 6'6", guys. Haven't you been reading?) For most of the game as I complimented him on his sense of humor, cool iphone, and his amazing height, I had to counter act so he knew I was in control of the situation. So...when I picked the winning color "dot" on the jumbo tron, I rubbed it in his face. When the Spurs would make a killer play I would slam that in his face. When he tried to bash on the Spurs, I playfully reminded him that his precious Jazz have never won a championship.
10. I find opportunities to let them shine and then I compliment them on it.
He decided we should leave early in light of the fact that the Spurs were winning by about 20 points. I did NOT want to leave until the end. What did I tell him? "Oh man, that's such a great idea." We walked out to the parking lot. We were walking for awhile and I said, "Are we lost?" He confidently responded that he has a good sense of direction and that he knew where we were going. I offered calculated encouragement: "That's great. I trust you." We drove back to the bowling alley to drop Linda off at her car. We proceeded home together in my car--just us. We decided to get shakes. EZ's or Sonic? He decidedly said Sonic and then straight up told me how good he was at making decisions. "Oh man, I love that. It is such a good quality," I assured him. Boys eat that stuff up.
Oh and just in case you were wondering, he wanted the banana cream pie shake at Sonic. Happens to be my favorite. This man could be missing his front teeth and partially retarded and I might still fall in love with him. His height and taste in music put him up there on the scale, but his taste in Sonic shakes made me fall in love. Literally. He may just be the guy version of me. I don't know yet.
11. I surgically plant in their heads the idea that this is not the last time we will see each other.
As we chatted about our favorite bands, and life back in Provo (he was leaving for P-town the next day), I talked about Las Vegas. (My friends and I are planning an explosively awesome trip to Vegas next semester). After he shared his lukewarm feelings about Sin City, I described our exciting plans and he said that sounds fun. Then I said, "Well if your Vegas trip had been like that would you have liked it more?" He said yes, so I invited him to come along. He accepted. BAM!
12. I win. Always.
Once I like a boy, they're mine. This one's got a potential girl, but she's just that. Potential. I have her name and very finely tuned detective skills. I already know quite a bit about her and she seems like a nice girl. I'm sure she'll make a great girlfriend...to someone else.
Story to be continued....
Monday, December 7, 2009
Memory Lane
Up late, studying for finals, listening to iTunes.
All of a sudden, my mind is taken back to some pretty great memories. Isn't it funny how your brain associates certain people with certain songs? Here are some songs that remind me of boyfriends of the past, starting with boyfriend number one: Sam from high school. The songs probably explain all too much about the relationship :)
Sam: Dr. Dre and Snoop--Next Episode
Brandon: Dixie Chicks--Cowboy Take Me Away
Michael: G-Love and Special Sauce--Baby's Got Sauce
Dave: Outkast--Hey Ya!
Craig: Ummm...when we first started dating we thought it would be funny to have this song as "our song," so that if/when we broke up, we wouldn't have to listen to sappy old love songs. It worked.
Eric: Anything by REM or Cat Stevens but particularly this song. When he let me control the radio, usually Britney, Alanis, or Ben. Living in NYC, this one sang me to sleep when Eric wasn't there, which was always.
- REM: Man on the Moon
- Ben Kweller: Falling
Then...I started dating younger men:
Adam: PussyCat Dolls--When I Grow Up
William: Chris Rice--So Much For My Sad Song
Daniel: Kanye West--Heartless
Bryce: There are so many-probably because it was so recent but I don't think I will ever listen to this song without thinking of Bryce, nor will I ever listen to this band without thinking about our plans to travel to India. (I promise it's worth it to click. These are rad bands/songs).
- Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk--Paperweight
- Jump, Little Children--Mexico
Tyler: Hahahaha. None come to mind because I always dominate our music-listening sessions with this beautiful song: Fun--The Gambler
I sure love music. I mean, yeah I love boys, but I really love music. It has never let me down.
All of a sudden, my mind is taken back to some pretty great memories. Isn't it funny how your brain associates certain people with certain songs? Here are some songs that remind me of boyfriends of the past, starting with boyfriend number one: Sam from high school. The songs probably explain all too much about the relationship :)
Sam: Dr. Dre and Snoop--Next Episode
Brandon: Dixie Chicks--Cowboy Take Me Away
Michael: G-Love and Special Sauce--Baby's Got Sauce
Dave: Outkast--Hey Ya!
Craig: Ummm...when we first started dating we thought it would be funny to have this song as "our song," so that if/when we broke up, we wouldn't have to listen to sappy old love songs. It worked.
Eric: Anything by REM or Cat Stevens but particularly this song. When he let me control the radio, usually Britney, Alanis, or Ben. Living in NYC, this one sang me to sleep when Eric wasn't there, which was always.
- REM: Man on the Moon
- Ben Kweller: Falling
Then...I started dating younger men:
Adam: PussyCat Dolls--When I Grow Up
William: Chris Rice--So Much For My Sad Song
Daniel: Kanye West--Heartless
Bryce: There are so many-probably because it was so recent but I don't think I will ever listen to this song without thinking of Bryce, nor will I ever listen to this band without thinking about our plans to travel to India. (I promise it's worth it to click. These are rad bands/songs).
- Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk--Paperweight
- Jump, Little Children--Mexico
Tyler: Hahahaha. None come to mind because I always dominate our music-listening sessions with this beautiful song: Fun--The Gambler
I sure love music. I mean, yeah I love boys, but I really love music. It has never let me down.
Monday, November 30, 2009
$$$ at Work
Six things I am grateful for:
Friday, Dec. 4: Judicial Commission Paper Due
Tuesday, Dec. 8: Legislation Final
Wednesday, Dec. 9: Family Law Final
Friday, Dec. 11: Business Associations Final
Monday, Dec. 14: Evidence Final
Wednesday, Dec. 16: Wills and Estates Final
Because without these finals, my tuition money would mean nothing. If you don't know the bitter, you cannot know the sweet. If I don't experience finals, I cannot get my J.D.
Sara Elizabeth Payne, future Esq.
Friday, Dec. 4: Judicial Commission Paper Due
Tuesday, Dec. 8: Legislation Final
Wednesday, Dec. 9: Family Law Final
Friday, Dec. 11: Business Associations Final
Monday, Dec. 14: Evidence Final
Wednesday, Dec. 16: Wills and Estates Final
Because without these finals, my tuition money would mean nothing. If you don't know the bitter, you cannot know the sweet. If I don't experience finals, I cannot get my J.D.
Sara Elizabeth Payne, future Esq.
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